Cooking for the Apocalypse!

Won't be any frozen pot pies during the dying days, we'll be making our own!

I'm about to wrap up my week of apocalyptic musings and as much fun as it's been to write I feel I'm not providing that much of a service to my readers with all this "gloom and doom", and in the end, when the global economy augers into the ground on its burning sleigh ride to hell, we're all on our own anyway. Make peace with your God, man, when it happens.

Anyhow, my last entry in this bleak series is an attempt to be "value added" by providing a recipe for a wonderful and proper English dish, a fulfilling meal that, at least during the early days of hell-on-earth, will be nourishing and relatively easy to procure and make, although some regional adjustments for ingredients may need to be made. This is, afterall, a traditional homestyle meal of my ancestors, the world-conquering English.

Proper Stinky Pie

1 1/2 pounds of grollops*
1 large baking potato
4 robin eggs
1/2 pound blanched eel
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 dash ground allspice
1/2 cup water
1 recipe pasty for a 9 inch double crust deep dish pie

1. Blanch the eels in a pot of near boiling water with a bit of salt. Set aside.
2. Bake the potato until done, 30 - 45 minutes in a preheated 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) oven. Peel and mash the potato.
3. Place the potato, grollops, blanched eel, spices and water in a large frying pan and simmer until very thick, for about one hour.
4. Meanwhile, prepare your pastry.
5. Line a deep-dish pie plate with pastry. Spoon in filling, spreading evenly. Cover with top crust. Brush with beaten eggs. Cut steam vent. Bake for 50 minutes at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). If edges brown too fast, cover with a strip of foil. Serve warm.

*Grollops are "pastureized" oxen feces, typically procured at local village and neighborhood butcher shops.

Comments

[annon.]

You can substitute the "grollups" for the nice fleshy thigh of a former neighbor. It improves the recipe quite a bit when you do that.

[glynis]

we're going to be reading about 'annon' in the paper in the coming months, aren't we?.... this recipe isn't so unlike the 'rustic tart' i made 2 nights ago! except instead of the eel and the grollups i used zucchini and a big yellow pepper. sounds quite tasty, actually, bob, except who in their right mind would use ALLSPICE? this screams for garlic, or a little cumin perhaps. what's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten? and don't say 'quiche'. (annon, please refrain from responding..... it's just scary). :0

[D Huygens]

There will be functioning butcher shops in this Mad Max world? With the ability to pasteurize? If so I'd rather they pasteurize something other than oxen feces.

[marmitetoasty]

:) we ad a pie jest like dis one today for our tea..... I kid you not....

and the reason us Brits can adapt better then doodles and live by whats at hand is cos we lived through the war with rationing and all that malarkie :)

x

[Bob]

It's not "pasteurize" it's "pastureize."

[Bob]

Your pie had real shit in it, Marmite? Whoa.

[glynis]

if only i could master the perfect flaky crust....